Eilon, November 16, 2004

Hello friends

A close perusal of the news informed us that a katyusha rocket inadvertently lost its way before falling into Ayalon's [Eilon] banana plantation last week. This was one of the great non-events of the week since the "barrage" had gone unreported, no one was hurt and no damage caused.

Here is my account of these unfolding events:

It was fairly certain that those responsible for firing that rocket that landed on a patch of banana fronds were Palestinians. If for no reason because Hezbollah denied any knowledge of it. As someone said to me today, in matters such as these, Hezbollah is very credible, simply because they would have regretted the opportunity of launching one of those rockets themselves into what they refer to as "occupied Palestine." Perhaps they might promise to launch an investigation, since the launch occurred under their watchful noses without their knowledge or prior approval. In any case, the Lebanese police have promised to look into the matter.

At the same time, I can't imagine the disappointment of those Palestinian fellas as they triumphantly marched home into their perennial refugee camp near Sidon, Ain al-Hilwe.

"Hey Ahmed", inquired one of their friends upon seeing the return of  three of the camp's gallant sons,  "How did the launching go?"

"Swell," responded Ahmed, "just like Cape Kennedy!"

In fact, they were lucky to get the damn thing off without killing themselves in the process. After their initial congratulatory phase, they packed up their equipment, skirted down the closest goat path that trailed around the hillock, and made off in a buoyant mood to their home "base", eluding all.

Now after having boasted of their deed, they solemnly awaited its ghastly result, and waited and waited, but no real confirmation was forthcoming. For all anyone knew, they may have fired their missile into the sea, or even dumped it down an abandoned cistern.

Then Hagai, our irrigationist in the banana orchard, must have stubbed his plastic sandals on a few bent shards protruding from the moistened soil of the previous night's watering. Alarmed by his discovery, he summoned all the security personnel that the incident warranted. Rushing to the scene, they listened attentively, took measurements, and ascertained that the story hit the wire.

This of course was a relief for Ahmed, Hassan and Ali, who for all it mattered, might have become the laughing stock of the camp, having boasted of a katyusha launching that no one had either reported hearing or seeing. How dreadful! Gratified that their alleged launching had been verified  they suddenly were openly befriended by friends and neighbors, who treated them to free houmous at the local shawarme joint, and a decent backgammon handicap. Even subtle and barely detectable flirtations by uncle's daughters could not escape their attention.

As for Hagai, bewailing the fringed blue plastic wrapping on that dangling banana bunch, and the barely singed fronds, or the anonymity of his discovery of what was truly an international incident, there was plenty of  talk to go around with the rolls at the breakfast table the following morning.-Barry

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